Where My Thoughts Matter

e m P t Y

Tried to write a letter; In ink
I've got a peice of paper; But it's Empty

Square One

Saturday, March 17, 2012 ( 3:48 AM )

Hello there :) Its the holidays now but unfortunately its coming to an end=(

But I'm happy to say that I've spent my holidays well. On wednesday, I went to the Running SPY camp =) TRUST ME. it was beyond awesome. The organisers really organised it well. We ALL just had a blast there. I wish I could go back now. but unfortunately I can't=( is looking forward to the next running SPY camp. But I'm glad to see that people who came , who's lives I believe have been changed. I hope to see them return to SPY after this. Seriously, it felt right being there. Like it was a family. and of course the Head of the family was God himself =). It was great to hear P.s Loke preach and it really blew my mind. LOL All in all it was an amazing experience and is anticipating to watch the video tomorrow.

Picthas!

All the participants and the helpers =)

Session time.

Where we stayed

Mission time

Aqua Zorbing. This was damn hard to do okay.

Aqua Skipper. Another very hard thing to do. Wui Hao was the only one that got it. LOL

Stand up paddling =)

BBQ at night.

Session 4 and altar call.

Well yea, thats pretty much most of it. I didn't find any pictures of flying fox though =( Oh and I think this was the highlight of the camp.

This was at 12 am of day 2. The staff had a surpirse for us. And we all climbed up a hill for about 20 minutes. Along the way we say fireflies and it was really nice la with the cool breeze and all. When we reached the top, we looked down and saw the city and its lights and it was seriously amazing. They also made a camp fire and lay out sheets for us to sit on. As we were walking up and at the top itself, I swear, the stars were amazing. I have never seen so many stars in my life. I'm serious. They told us that that spot was famous for the nightview and SHOOTING STARS. yes, I saw a shooting star, but forgot to wish upon it. LOL we then started to play games and just stare at stars. It was great. I loved that place. =)

So yea, tats all for camp. It was really tiring I must say but worth every sweat. =)

Yea, and I think you guys should know too that I'm back to where I was in 2010, and end of 2011. yes. that sad, recovering phase of my life. I thought time could finally heal my broken heart and make me forget the pass and could finally move on. but unfortunately NOT. :( And i realise that I cannot completely move on until I get a hold of my feelings, So... yea. Its over for now. I just need some time alone right now so please, understand.

As for my feelings. Gahh, how much pain and hurt you have brought to me. Though I know my feelings aren't gonna go anywhere or do me any good, I'm just gonna let it be, lock up inside my mind for now. I don't know what I can do anymore. OVER AND OVER AGAIN. Kexin thinks I'm putting myself in misery for I already know what the outcome of this is. Why would I risk getting hurt over and over again. I DON'T KNOW MYSELF. Amanda, why you so dumb. But ahh yea, I get by little by little through the help of friends and family. and of course God. I'll just surrender this to him and well, its all up to Him now =) I don't think I can cry anymore. Everytime I think about this, I cry. But it makes me feel better in a way. just to cry it out. Just yesterday, I played hillsongs songs in the background and just cry it all out. I felt much better knowing that I was comforted by something greater than anyone else. So yea.. I guess for now, I'm just lost. But i'll find my way back =) I will.

BELIEVE. FAITH. TRUST.

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