Where My Thoughts Matter

e m P t Y

Tried to write a letter; In ink
I've got a peice of paper; But it's Empty

I am just screwed up

Friday, January 6, 2012 ( 11:53 PM )

Hey guys, So... here I am again telling you about how screwed up I am. Honestly speaking, this whole week has just been a pain to me. I swear, its like everything is just falling apart one by one. I'm amazed I am actually still so composed with everything happening around me. I cannot begin to tell you, how so much can happen in just one week. Its like my eyes were close until this week. Though I'm still confused and unsure about everything. One thing I know for sure, is that, for this entire week, my life has just taken like a bungee jump. from the top, I sank to the bottom. All this pain i hold in, I wish there was a way to let it out. I realise that there is no other way than time. and God. TIME. I keep telling myself all I need is time. But how much time? that's where God comes in. But yea, everyday is like things keep getting worse, Each day, It gets more hurtful when more and more is revealed. Basically I am just like waiting for the worse to come. I also banned myself from making any important decisions right now for I fear of making the wrong ones. I am just putting everything to kinda like a pause right now. And honestly, I don't know when I'll have the guts to press the play button again. But I guess that's life. It has its ups and downs. I'm really thankful though, for all the friends around me. Honestly, I wouldn't be so composed right now if it weren't for friends. Its like 2010 all over again. I know most of you wont understand what I have said right here for like I said, its screwed up, like me. But I have came to the conclusion, that it is time for me to finally let some things go, and let some new things in..Although, I still wish for the truth and an ACTUAL explanation but I don't think that's necessary now. Cause even if I knew, it wouldn't make much of a difference. So i guess I'm better off locking it in a tiny corner of my mind. and leave the rest to God. Yea, tomorrow will be the day where everything will be clear. So yea... that's it for now I guess =) Bye

Not sure if the Kurt Hugo stripped down version is better. =) BUT this practically speaks my mind. =D

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