Where My Thoughts Matter

e m P t Y

Tried to write a letter; In ink
I've got a peice of paper; But it's Empty

Invincible in your eyes

Wednesday, September 8, 2010 ( 10:03 AM )

Its a quater after 1, Im all alone n I need u now.
Crying my eyes out, eyes wide open, and i need u now.
And i don't know how, I can deal with this now. I just need u now.

Aren't i suppose to b sleeping now? But unfortunately i can't. I'm left here all alone. Feeling lonely, crying my eyes out for u. U! i don even know why. U know, I don't deserve this. All my feelings and sorrow, trapped up inside me and not a single person knows. Including u.The past few months have been the worse of my life ( i think) I cried bcs of u! Bcs u make me so darn mad at times i just can't find words to express it out and thus i express it with tears. I pray all the time tat u would notice how hurt i am. I pray that u would understand wat i truely feel. I may tell u i'm ok. but i can tell u im not. N u should know. Everytime I tell u its ok, it isn't at all. Im crying on the other end and u think its ok and act like nths happen. Even when I'm writing this my heart has sunk, eyes are watery and feelings being hurt. Wat did i do to deserve all this? Why am I even still holding on to this string thats as thin s a thread and knowing that it would snap anytime soon. Is this even worth the wait? I wanna start counting the months of happiness not the months of hurt and pain u put me through. I cry out to God asking him that u will just once notice me or at least b there when i need u. what i can hold on to now is just the use to. U use to do all those things. U use to b there all the time even if i wanted it or not. U use to.... Gosh. I feel so stupid now waiting by the phone. I just really wished that u would understand how i feel. That someone, would just b there for me even if its not u.Bcs i know tat i am living in the past. The past was my fairytale, my dream come true. Should i give u more time until holidays? when u r free? and not busy all the time? I've given everything i can when u needed me. Every night i wait up just for u. Wat did i ever do.... tat was so wrong and invincible to u. Am I really that invincible to u? Am I really that worthless to u? I dunno. Crap my pillows all wet.

Oh well, I shall cry myself to sleep tonite. I pray u'd understand, that u will awake and just know that I am so freaking hurt.

Good nite.

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